1. Please give a summary of your military service: how long and, if you feel comfortable, where.
My husband has been serving in the Army/Army Reserve for 19 years. We have survived a 14-month deployment in 2003-2004 and a 12-month deployment in 2009-2010, both inIraq
2. What are the challenges you have faced while being involved in military service? Most people think of the separation but know little of other struggles. What are some of the lesser known trials you face?
Yes, the separation from hubby is overwhelmingly difficult. That ranks as the highest difficulty, but near the top of the list would be mechanical breakdowns (vehicles, appliances, etc.). Accompanying the difficulty of my husband being gone was the loss of emotional help and encouragement that normally I could look forward to at the end of a long day or week. Just as wearing was the constant child care with no breaks, like trying to survive the bedtime and teeth brushing every single night with no help.
3. How do you cope?
#1. Pray and pray and pray some more. Many times as I asked for help with loneliness, my husband would be able to make a phone call that day. Other times I would pray for help with something that had broken down, and a person would offer to help without even knowing I needed anything fixed.
#2. Learn to ask for help. I wanted to appear like I could handle this. I didn’t want word to get over to my husband that things weren’t going well at home. I learned to take people at their word who had offered to help, even if it had been a long time since they mentioned it.
4. What are the blessings of being involved in military service?
My children have learned to love theUnited States of America
5. What are some things people have said or done that have encouraged you?
#1. During the second deployment, I asked people to commit to choosing one of our children and then praying for that child every day for the entire deployment. Many stepped up to the challenge, and it brought tears and thankfulness to my heart every time I read the cards that those people sent, promising to pray for this child or that child. There were several who kept their promise and prayed for us daily for a whole year.
#2. Others blessed us with the gift of encouragement and help that was not asked for. Some offered to bring a meal “for no reason at all.” They just informed me that they were bringing food and asked what night they should bring it. A couple men showed up regularly and took it upon themselves to make sure the riding mower was running and blades sharpened, to change the oil in the vehicles, and anything else around the place that needed done. They didn’t wait for me to say I needed help, but guessed what I needed and took it upon themselves.
#3. One special couple would invite our family to birthday parties for their children as a way to get me out of the house and to help with the children for the evening. They understood what the military doesn’t understand. The military offers free babysitting at the YMCA, but I, as a Christian mom, didn’t feel comfortable leaving my children with just anyone. So they gave me a break from the children in a way that I was comfortable with.
6. Hopefully this hasn’t been an issue, but have there been things people have said or done, with good intentions, that have discouraged you? (Things you would recommend people avoid saying/doing for a military wife/family?)
#1. We had a problem with church family and relatives trying to assume the job of Dad. If one of the children would misbehave in public, they would discipline them or rebuke them “because their dad wasn’t there to do it.” Military kids have a lot to deal with without others coming down hard on them. On the same thought, some could not understand why all of a sudden our kids were either hyper, upset, or getting into trouble in class or other places. Children respond to worry about their military parent in all different ways, and the best thing you can offer a military child who is acting up is all the encouragement and understanding you can give.
#2. We were blessed with countless offers of help at the beginning of both deployments. The unfortunate thing was that probably only 50% of those were still willing to help when I asked. Either do not offer to help at all if you are too busy or not able, or offer to help and mean it with all your heart. It was also a great blessing when people would offer to help regularly, even weekly. This gave me a “non-guilty” opportunity to mention needs without feeling I was begging or bothering someone who was too busy.
7. What words of encouragement would you give a fellow military wife/family?
As hard as it is to swallow in the middle of a difficult circumstance like a deployment, God did not make a mistake when He deployed my husband. Good will come of it if I allow Him to be glorified and to show His power.
A special thank you to the Brucks in Michigan - thank you for serving our country and for sharing your testimony with us! May what we learned here translate into greater appreciation and help for brave families like yours.
My husband has been serving in the Army/Army Reserve for 19 years. We have survived a 14-month deployment in 2003-2004 and a 12-month deployment in 2009-2010, both in
2. What are the challenges you have faced while being involved in military service? Most people think of the separation but know little of other struggles. What are some of the lesser known trials you face?
Yes, the separation from hubby is overwhelmingly difficult. That ranks as the highest difficulty, but near the top of the list would be mechanical breakdowns (vehicles, appliances, etc.). Accompanying the difficulty of my husband being gone was the loss of emotional help and encouragement that normally I could look forward to at the end of a long day or week. Just as wearing was the constant child care with no breaks, like trying to survive the bedtime and teeth brushing every single night with no help.
3. How do you cope?
#1. Pray and pray and pray some more. Many times as I asked for help with loneliness, my husband would be able to make a phone call that day. Other times I would pray for help with something that had broken down, and a person would offer to help without even knowing I needed anything fixed.
#2. Learn to ask for help. I wanted to appear like I could handle this. I didn’t want word to get over to my husband that things weren’t going well at home. I learned to take people at their word who had offered to help, even if it had been a long time since they mentioned it.
4. What are the blessings of being involved in military service?
My children have learned to love the
5. What are some things people have said or done that have encouraged you?
#1. During the second deployment, I asked people to commit to choosing one of our children and then praying for that child every day for the entire deployment. Many stepped up to the challenge, and it brought tears and thankfulness to my heart every time I read the cards that those people sent, promising to pray for this child or that child. There were several who kept their promise and prayed for us daily for a whole year.
#2. Others blessed us with the gift of encouragement and help that was not asked for. Some offered to bring a meal “for no reason at all.” They just informed me that they were bringing food and asked what night they should bring it. A couple men showed up regularly and took it upon themselves to make sure the riding mower was running and blades sharpened, to change the oil in the vehicles, and anything else around the place that needed done. They didn’t wait for me to say I needed help, but guessed what I needed and took it upon themselves.
#3. One special couple would invite our family to birthday parties for their children as a way to get me out of the house and to help with the children for the evening. They understood what the military doesn’t understand. The military offers free babysitting at the YMCA, but I, as a Christian mom, didn’t feel comfortable leaving my children with just anyone. So they gave me a break from the children in a way that I was comfortable with.
6. Hopefully this hasn’t been an issue, but have there been things people have said or done, with good intentions, that have discouraged you? (Things you would recommend people avoid saying/doing for a military wife/family?)
#1. We had a problem with church family and relatives trying to assume the job of Dad. If one of the children would misbehave in public, they would discipline them or rebuke them “because their dad wasn’t there to do it.” Military kids have a lot to deal with without others coming down hard on them. On the same thought, some could not understand why all of a sudden our kids were either hyper, upset, or getting into trouble in class or other places. Children respond to worry about their military parent in all different ways, and the best thing you can offer a military child who is acting up is all the encouragement and understanding you can give.
#2. We were blessed with countless offers of help at the beginning of both deployments. The unfortunate thing was that probably only 50% of those were still willing to help when I asked. Either do not offer to help at all if you are too busy or not able, or offer to help and mean it with all your heart. It was also a great blessing when people would offer to help regularly, even weekly. This gave me a “non-guilty” opportunity to mention needs without feeling I was begging or bothering someone who was too busy.
7. What words of encouragement would you give a fellow military wife/family?
As hard as it is to swallow in the middle of a difficult circumstance like a deployment, God did not make a mistake when He deployed my husband. Good will come of it if I allow Him to be glorified and to show His power.
A special thank you to the Brucks in Michigan - thank you for serving our country and for sharing your testimony with us! May what we learned here translate into greater appreciation and help for brave families like yours.
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