God of Mountains Topples Walls of Fear

 

"I will lift up my eyes to the hills— from whence comes my help? My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth." Psalm 121:1

From the breathtaking mountains of Colorado . . . back down to the foothills of Mount Neverest (laundry).  I didn't want to come home.  I wanted to stay there and stare at God's art work all day, every day!



What did I come home to, besides lots of dirty clothes?  A busy autumn schedule, a spiritual battle, and a wall of fear . . . it looms over me. 

• How am I going to ____? 


• What if ____ happens? 


• I don't feel good about ____.   


• Am I going to be able to be ____? 


• Am I ever going to be content with an imperfect life and house?  


• What about my friend's hurts? 


• What if ____ happens to my family?


• What if my dreams for Women On God's Mission are too big? 


• What if I've bitten off too much with my schedule?


• How can I continue to make the 45 minute commute to church 2-3 times per week? 


• Do my goals match God's plans for me? 

Fears like a dripping faucet nag at my heart - that loved ones who do not believe in Jesus, as the Way the Truth and the Life, will lose their opportunity with God. And fears for precious friends facing persecution around the world . . . on and on, the walls of fear could rival the Wall of China.



Thankfully, peace is not inextricably connected with time, place, vacation, God's beautiful creation, nor with anything I do or don't do! C.S. Lewis said, "God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there.  There is no such thing."  Where God is, there is peace.  Even in the midst of hectic real life!  I thank God that He uses these fears to draw me to Himself.  If I had no fear, there would be no need for God. 

"For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father."

Romans 8:15

If I am carrying fears around, I am accepting a "gift" from the father of lies, Satan.  After I lift off the enticing wrapper I drag around a back-breaking, heart-wrenching, rash inducing time bomb.  Through me Satan disrespectfully flaunts a small victory in the face of his and my Creator God, while he designs to do everything he can to destroy me, my family, and any godly influence from my life!  In contrast, our wonderful God sweetly yet powerfully assures, "I have it all under control."  He calms the storms around me, giving me freedom to breathe, freedom to sleep sweetly, and the assurance that He is working on ___ and ___.  God understands!  God cares! 



Are you in a fearful place?  Surgery is scheduled, your biological clock is ticking, you lost your job, your baby has cancer, loved ones are moving away, your house won't sell, your husband is being called up for another tour of duty, you don't know if you are on your way to heaven when you die (see above under Lovely Links to get help), your very life is at stake in a land where there is no freedom of religion . . . whatever it is, Satan would love to tie us up in ropes of fear - he wants to snuff out all of the big dreams that come with following a big God!



Like my Indonesian sister in Christ told me tonight, "I just need to meditate more on His word and draw myself even closer to Him. This cloud of uncertainty and doubt has been a thorn I need to get rid of FAST!" 



And when we are too weak to cast off our fears, He can and He will!  Will you kneel with me right now and commit our fears to God?  He has all the answers we need.  He is the answer.  Pray and watch the walls topple.

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’" Isaiah 41:10

Click here to read more verses about God's answers to our fears

Cry Out to God

"Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." Phil. 3:13-14

This morning I had a rare opportunity to read, pray and talk to God alone at a park.  A sweet friend had invited my boys over, and I savored every moment of God and me time.



I've felt drained lately, more so than usual.  The past two years, around this time, we were preparing for our exchange student daughters to come.  From the moment their planes touched down, we were off and running, seemingly non-stop, for two 10+ month intervals.

In June with my Ghanian daughter Ama, just a few days before she left

After two action-packed years, I feel my body and emotions wavering between shock and recovery mode.  And I am grateful for the good memories as I put my feet up, this time blissfully uninvolved with the local high school schedule.  Although, there is a tinge of boredom in the air . . . how do we go back to "normal" after ultra-activity?



God is using this time in my life to help me reevaluate.  As I was sitting at the park enjoying the amazing book Even God Rested: Why It's Okay For Women to Slow Down by Kim Thomas, I was curious when my heart was particularly alert during the chapter about anger.  I listened for God's Spirit to speak to me as I reviewed those who have wronged or misunderstood me: ____ = forgiven, ____= forgiven, and down the list I went.  Then a most unexpected turn of events - I sensed God was showing me that I had not forgiven myself!  And all this time I have been stewing about those other people. 



"Forgive yourself" possibly sounds like a talk-show diagnosis.  Challenged by a wise friend who asked me the biblical basis for this, perhaps it would be better to say I accept God's forgiveness and no longer condemn myself.  In case you are interested, here are some thoughts we discussed:

• Colossians 3:13 - "Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye," . . . The Greek root word "heautou" (one another) refers not only to others, but also to ourselves.


• Berating myself for past failures and sins has only prevented me from living in God's forgiveness/being fully who God wants me to be. Living spiritually is seeing myself through God's eyes: Sinful, yet FORGIVEN. Therefore, it is my own pride and stubbornness not likewise to forgive what God has already forgiven.  


• Hebrews 9:14 - "...how much more shall the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered Himself without spot to God, cleanse your conscience from dead works to serve the living God?" 


• Ephesians 4:32 - "And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you."  Even though I am a sinner, God gives me the choice to forgive or not forgive other sinners.  Do you think Saul/Paul needed to stand with God forgiving himself for his violence against his new brothers and sisters in Christ? At least he probably had to remind himself, when nightmares plagued his conscience, "I stand forgiven in Christ, therefore I shall not live in the past, condemning myself."  I have the privilege of saying with Christ, "Sara, you are forgiven ... go on in God's grace." 


• Romans 8:1,33 - "There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit . . . who shall bring a charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies."  GOD justifies - I cannot justify myself nor anyone.  Accepting His full and free forgiveness - it would be disrespectful of His sacrifice to continue to condemn my forgiven self. 


• In John 8:9-12 Jesus tells the woman caught in adultery that He nor any other man condemns her, and then a very important "Go and sin no more."  Why?  "Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life."

It seems to me that holding onto the guilt is connected with pride . . . as if something I can DO will justify myself.  I am thankful that I do not have gigantic baggage - God protected me greatly.  And some of the things I have struggled with are sins of omission or the sad happenstance of not knowing that someone I love was being abused.  "If only I had known, I would've helped them!!" 



Another part is accepting God's sovereignty.  I am just not that big!  He works through our sins and mistakes for good in our lives and in the lives of others - He breathes life into dust and brings the dead to life.  Hallelujah!   



Tonight, while all this was soaking in, and right after I shared with Tim the release God gave me today, I was contacted by one of the people on my forgiven list.  It was like a bright cherry on top of a sundae, reminding me that God can open channels which once seemed impenetrable. Thank You, God, for working faithfully and patiently with Your children!



If you are in a place of exhaustion, confusion, or just plain needing a recharge, I highly recommend Kim's book.  And as soon as you can, cry out to God and go to a quiet place, prepared to listen to Him.  What you think may be the reason for your struggle may be completely opposite of what God is trying to teach you.



I'd like to close with something my wonderful friend Kay gave me yesterday: "Psalm 23:2. He doesn't LET us lie down in green pastures because we usually don't do that of our free will (we're too busy). So He makes us lie down. So thankful He does that for us. THEN, after He does that, He leads us to the quiet water and THEN He refreshes our soul. "

How To Get Better ZZZzzzzs

Do you have trouble sleeping peacefully through the night like I do?  For me the cause can be a busy mind, not wanting to slow down (party time!), worries, or a physical ailment.  I know this problem can either wear and grind, tempting me to whine and grouch at my family.  Or, it can draw me to God in prayerful dependence.

God has a purpose in sleeplessness and restlessness.  That purpose is greater than our need for sleep.  One of my favorite poets, George Herbert (1593-1633), imagined what may have occured when the triune God planned our creation.  I love this ancient poem:

The Pulley

When God at first made man, having a glasse of blessings standing by;

Let us (said he) poure on him all we can:

Let the worlds riches, which dispersed lie,

Contract into a span.

So strength first made a way;

Then beautie flow'd, then wisdome, honor, pleasure:

When almost all was out, God made a stay,

Perceiving that alone of all his treasure

Rest in the bottome lay.

For if I should (said he)

Bestow this jewell also on my creature,

He would adore my gifts in stead of me,

And rest in Nature, not the God of Nature:

So both should losers be.

Yet let him keep the rest,

But keep them with repining restlessnesse:

Let him be rich and wearie, that at least,

If goodnesse leade him not,  yet wearienesse

May tosse him to my breast.

George Herbert, 1633

There are many practical ideas to help one sleep better.  I'd love to hear what works for you! Here are a few I've picked up along the way:

Don'ts

- Don't eat after 7 p.m.

- Don't be too active just before you need to sleep (walking or stretching is okay).

- Don't eat dairy products late - they take at least 4 hours to digest.



Do's

- Ask God to relax your mind and help you sleep.

- Turn off the TV and computer at least one hour before bed time.

- Exercise (earlier in the day)

- Keep your room organized and beautiful = a restful oasis.

- An idea from my Dad: beware of pride - your ideas aren't so important that they can't wait until tomorrow. :)

- For a mind that won't slow down, listen to the radio on low volume all night.

- Have a regular bed time, and don't deviate from it more than 30 minutes on the weekend.

- Read or do something that relaxes you, saving a Bible verse for just before you nod off.

- Try lettuce tea.  Pour a cup of boiling hot water over a handful of lettuce in a mug, and let it steep for 30 minutes.  I've tried this once, and it was amazing how it relaxed me.  One of my friends quipped, "It worked for Peter Rabbit!"

- Journal before bed.  This especially helps me if I direct my entry to God, telling His all that's on my heart.

- Pray down your mental list of needs, remembering not just your needs but the needs of others.

- To relieve your mind, keep a notepad next to your bed to jot down thoughts.

- Quote Bible verses you've memorized.

- List your blessings by going through the alphabet, or list characteristics of God and thank Him for Who He is: Almighty, Beautiful Savior, Counselor ...

Rest isn't a right - it's a gift.  Let "The Pulley" of restlessness draw you to God.

"I will both lie down in peace, and sleep; For You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety."  Psalm 4:8

Image courtesy of http://office.microsoft.com/en-us/images/