"Your words were found, and I ate them, And Your word was to me the joy and rejoicing of my heart; For I am called by Your name, O LORD God of hosts." Jeremiah 15:16
On Saturday I listened to an inspiring Christian woman speaking about godly priorities while cleaning my room. Later that same day, while I was folding underwear and sorting socks, I heard another famous woman interviewed on a highly revered Christian website. As her voice streamed through my laptop, my hopes for a meaty message quickly faded. I was left feeling parched. Yes, she mentioned God, spoke about prayer as well as other true and good things, but never communicated God's own words. Most of her words were about her.
More than any other time in human history, we have countless opportunities to hear and learn from God's Word: radio, television, internet, books, church, CDs, Sunday school, small groups, conferences, magazines, DVDs, blogs, YouTube, email, Facebook, etc. Certainly there are messages and interviews worth hearing that point us to God. It takes some work, but we can wade through fluff and find solid biblical teaching.
My concern, as I get to know myself better and listen to others around me, is that we too easily depend on the testimonies of other humans. Before realizing it, my own quality time with God slips away. Unless the words of others springboard me toward further personal study in my Bible, munching from the crumbs of other people's spiritual meals soon leaves me depleted, hungry.
"And Jesus said to them, 'I am the bread of life. He who comes to Me shall never hunger, and he who believes in Me shall never thirst.'" John 6:35
If I allow this spiritual malnutrition to continue, my starved self turns to my husband and children, friends and pastor, to feed me, to fill me. I open my refrigerator, go shopping, listen to music. My emptiness echoes in my soul, and when women come to me for counsel I give them my helpful opinions and good ideas instead of God's. At times my family feels the brunt of my ugliness. I've allowed the potential fruit of the Spirit to wilt and rot. Then finally, after the damage has been done, I end up where I should've been in the beginning: on my knees and in His Word.
Do you have a daily quiet time with God alone? I understand, it can feel nearly impossible at times with the busyness of life. Do you enjoy listening to Christian radio but sometimes let that take place of your quiet time? What about church - do you tank up on the sermon and small group lesson, hoping it will carry you through your stressful week?
Dear sister, we need "just God and me" time. If it means getting up earlier, staying up later, shutting down the computer, getting away from the house for awhile, turning on a good video for our kids, declining an invitation from a friend, hiring a baby sitter . . . we will only be PEACEFUL and USEFUL when we spend time with God. Alone.
"His (her!) delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he (she!) meditates day and night. He (she!) shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, whose leaf also shall not wither; and whatever he (she!) does shall prosper." Psalm 1:2-3
Stay tuned for ideas to help you develop a quality daily meeting with God.
Special thanks to The Narrow Gate for the picture above.
Twelve years ago I was privileged to be a preschool teacher in Poulsbo, Washington. I loved my students! I remember one day when a new fellow joined our class. The poor little man had major first day jitters and insecurities. Not even music and story time could cheer him up. He continued in distress until . . . I got up and moved. Behind me on the wall was a picture of Jesus (similar to the image above). After Kevin saw the picture of Jesus, his entire demeanor changed! As I watched him smile, I could picture a party going on inside his brain - "This is a Jesus place! I'm going to be okay!" From then on, he seemed to feel at home.
While studying John 3:27-33 (*context below) today, I was challenged to remember that I am privileged to point people to Jesus. Like John the Baptist, I have the opportunity to tell others, "It's all about Him!"
"He must increase, but I must decrease." John 3:30
This passage of Scripture reminds me:
I must diminish!
The good things you see in my life are only because of Jesus. I am only special because God made me in His image, God in the flesh died to pay my sin debt, and I am chosen by Him to know and serve Him. Why should my screen time only point people to Him? Because . . .
1. I have nothing except for what has been given to me by God (27). No room to brag!
2. I am not God (28). It seems obvious, but I find myself idiotically trying to play God in my life.
3. I have been sent by God (28). On His mission, not mine. He uses the weak things of this world! (I Corinthians 1:27)
4. I am His bride (29). Do I act like a bride in love, preparing for our day? Do I glow and tell everyone about the One I love (Who first loved me - I John 4:19)?
5. The sound of his voice gives great joy - in Him my joy is fulfilled (29). So, why do I go elsewhere for my joy? Rejoice in the joy Giver! And find my fulfillment in Him alone. Not in my accomplishments! Not in my list of souls won! Not in my one-upping a sister with whom I feel a pull of competition in church leadership. No!!!
He must become greater!
Jesus IS the greatest - this verse is saying that He must take center stage and be given complete dominion in our lives. Why? Because (again, taken from John 3) . . .
1. He is the Giver (27). All gifts are from God! Isn't His signature verse John 3:16? And, don't forget Romans 8:32! With His strength, I can appreciate His gifts and become a selfless giver.
2. He is the Sender (28). Matthew 28:18-20. I am on a mission! I should be grateful - I get to serve the King of Kings!
3. He is the Christ (28). Anointed One, appointed by God. Jesus is God in the flesh, no matter what other people say.
4. Jesus and I have extremely different roles. He is transforming me into His image while I am but a speck in the shadow of the Almighty. That means I must continue to reverence and obey Him. Humble myself.
5. He is the bridegroom (29). He loves me. He chose me. I am His precious bride. He is worthy of my adoration!
6. He is above all (27-28, 29-31). So, doesn't He deserve my complete allegiance?! I cannot even imagine the ridiculous spectacle of a termite bragging about his strength next to a tyrannosaurus rex dinosaur. God and me? The difference is even greater!
HE is above all!
He IS above all!
He is ABOVE all!
He is above ALL!
7. Jesus is evidence that God, and what He says in the Bible, is true (33). Divine and sent by God, Jesus gives a living, breathing view of God.
8. He has something to say that is worth hearing (32). Am I listening?
We have the privilege of pointing people to Jesus. Let's get out of the way so people can see the source of hope and true joy!
Practically Speaking: How To Point Others to Jesus
Family:
Above all, your family needs for you to be godly. When you are right with God, God is able to shine through you!
Talk about God to your children, every day of the week.
Begin the day with a verse and prayer.
In a moment of frustration, let them hear you pray to God for help and strength.
Put a little love note on their pillow that includes a Bible verse telling about Jesus' love for them.
If unsaved family mock or accuse you, be like Jesus to them, keeping silent and taking it graciously.
Let them hear you pray for them out loud.
Be excited about God!
Teach them about good manners - the purpose of which is not to make people think they great, but it is an opportunity to show people the love of Jesus.
Talk about how great God is and show your children how you can together enjoy praising God in song and service.
Praise them for their accomplishments, then add, "God is so good to have given you such a special talent to use for His glory!"
Neighbors:
Take baked goodies to them, just because. Put a little note on the treat, including a simple Bible verse, that says you are thankful God allowed you to be neighbors.
Be the first one to take a meal to a new mom, a newcomer to the neighborhood, or a grieving family. Include a winsome tract telling about God's love and hope.
Don't flaunt your beliefs - have an attitude of kindness and humility.
Don't be afraid to show them you can have fun.
Take care of your yard. This one is hard to keep up with (we know)! But it is important to respect our neighborhood by taking responsibility - this will help people to view Christ in a positive light. Think of your house as God's embassy in your neighborhood!
If you borrow something, return it as soon as possible.
Don't keep a perfect home - let people see that you are real - someone they can relate to. People feel more comfortable in a home that isn't spotless.
How you dress matters. Incorporating Biblical principles of modesty, be approachable in the way you dress - neither slovenly, goody-two-shoes, nor Hollywoodish. They are more apt to listen if your appearance doesn't distract from your message.
Friends:
Don't gossip.
Don't control the conversation, but try to guide it toward godly ideas.
Offer to pray for and with your friend.
Share what God is teaching you and ask her what God is teaching her.
Ask how you can help her in her Christian walk.
Ask for accountability - when she is holding you accountable, she will more likely seek to be right with God herself.
Give gifts that will remind her of God: perpetual calendar with verses in it, a Bible verse magnet or picture, a favorite music or speaker on CD.
After she sings or plays the piano, don't say, "You're awesome!" Instead say something like, "Your song blessed my heart today. I am so thankful you are using your talents for God's glory!"
Send an e-mail saying you are praying for her today.
Share what God is doing in your life on Facebook. Don't be afraid to admit your struggles, but try not to complain. Verbalizing what is true, even online, can help you and your friends focus on the One Who holds all the answers.
Strangers:
Smile and say hello.
When waiting in line or while your kids are playing together at the park, try to find common ground by asking about their interests.
Pray for an opportunity to share Christ, but be sensitive to His leading. Being too bold can give people a negative stereotypical view of your Christianity.
Invite them over for a play date or for supper.
Always carry a quality tract with you to give them some reading material later on. Have your e-mail address or phone number on the back in case they have questions.
"I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for withoutMeyoucandonothing." John 15:5
*27 -John answered and said, "A man can receive nothing unless it has been given to him from heaven.
28 - You yourselves bear me witness, that I said, 'I am not the Christ,' but, 'I have been sent before Him.'
29 - He who has the bride is the bridegroom; but the friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly because of the bridegroom's voice. Therefore this joy of mine is fulfilled.
30 - He must increase, but I must decrease.
31 - He who comes from above is above all; he who is of the earth is earthly and speaks of the earth. He who comes from heaven is above all.
32 - And what He has seen and heard, that He testifies; and no one receives His testimony.
33 - He who has received His testimony has certified that God is true."
Tonight my breath caught in my throat as I noticed a bright rainbow just out my back door. It was positively glowing! I've never seen the violet ribbon so brilliant. As it expanded into a double rainbow, I could hear my children ooo-ing and ahh-ing from their bedroom window, talking back and forth with their Daddy about what a rainbow means. Hearkening back to our father in the faith Noah, God our Father keeps His promises, of course.
This spring my Dad designed a little
house for his grandsons.
Tim and our boys enjoyed helping out!
This Father's Day weekend I am eternally grateful to God for a Dad who loves Him and loves his family. Some of my favorite memories with my Dad include: when we went camping, going to church, walking the mall and him stopping occasionally to buy me a rope of licorice, bike riding, eating mulberries, him teaching me how to drive a tractor on the farm, horseback riding, chuckwagons in Colorado, and the countless times he listened to me practice the piano, clapping after every song!
And now I am blessed to be married to a man who is a good husband and a great father. I am unspeakably thankful that my husband is someone I can respect and trust with my children. He loves playing with them, listening to them, chasing and tickling, singing with them . . . my cup overflows.
I love this old picture of Tim
and the boys!
Maybe you feel that while others enjoy rainbow memories and relationships, yours have been or are stormy. Perhaps your dad wasn't the loving kind. Instead he wounded you and wrecked your childhood. What pain and agony! Perhaps you are single and longing for someone to build a family with, but God hasn't brought him along, yet. I remember the ache. Or, you may have seen your prince charming fall off his horse and land in the kingdom of another princess. There is no one to love you or the children you had together, and your weary heart is broken.
While human beings fall short in sympathy, God understands what we think and feel. When His children are hurting, He hurts, too. And He is closer to us than breathing. Just like the rainbow I saw tonight which followed scary lightening and ominous clouds, God will help us through the storms of life - He is the safe place of eternal love and forever rainbows.
The following verses are familiar to many of us, but let's take a few moments to soak in them once again. Just like sinking our toes into a plush carpet, munching on a warm-from-the-oven chocolate chip cookie, coming home and smelling freshly baked bread . . . let's come home to our Father and bask in His love today.
Our Perfect Father
"For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is His mercy toward those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. As a father pities his children, so the Lord pities those who fear Him. For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust." Psalm 103:11-14
"For unto us a Child is born, unto us a Son is given; and the government will be upon His shoulder. And His name will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." Isaiah 9:6
"But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and You our potter; and all we are the work of Your hand." Isaiah 64:8
"... your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him." Matthew 6:8b
"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!" Matthew 7:7-8,11
"Therefore be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful." Luke 6:36
"For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father." Romans 8:15
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
"I will be a Father to you, and you shall be My sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty." 2 Corinthians 6:18
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ ..." Ephesians 1:3
"Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God!" I John 3:1
"And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent the Son as Savior of the world." I John 4:14
At this very moment I am enjoying a rare moment of bliss. My laptop, Bible, calendar and I are sitting at a local coffee shop, in an air conditioned room with, ironically, a cozy fireplace flickering nearby. It is doing it's job well, relaxing me while I sip a blueberry Italian soda, nibble an M & M cookie, and reflect on life. Yes, I'm spoiled. A whole pack of thank you notes wouldn't be enough to thank my sweet husband.
It is a break, yes. But, it is also a work appointment. As a wife and mother I take my job very seriously. And sometimes I need to get away from the workplace I love to renew my perspective.
As a stay-at-home wife, homeschooling mom, host mom, writer, daughter, friend, and growing child of God, I must take time to pray, evaluate, and plan for coming days. When I was single I needed to do the same thing. It was tedious to face life's ups and downs alone, besides being responsible for everything.
We all need TIME to REFOCUS.
Here are some questions to help us check our path as we push the pause button:
1. God - Is God still a priority in my life? If so, what is the evidence? When is the last time I was truly abiding in Him? Have I poured my heart out to Him today? How many times a day do I think about Him? Do people know that I am His?
2. Myself: God's Temple - Is my heart soft or hard? Am I where God wants me to be? Do I need help? If so, am I asking for help? Am I a thankful person? Am I taking care of my spirit, mind, emotions, and body? Am I doing ____ for God's glory or mine? Are my goals in life reasonable or am I constantly defeated by unrealistic expectations?
3. Others: Eternal Souls - Who has God given to me as priority relationships to help? Am I putting them first? Am I doing my best to help them in their walk with God? Do I pray as much for others as I pray for myself? Do I need to change my schedule to make more time for others? Am I using my influence for good in my home, neighborhood, church, community, and beyond?
4. My Home: God's Embassy - Do I have too much stuff in my home? Is taking care of things weighing me down and sapping energy better used elsewhere? What do I need to get rid of? How often do I have people over? Is my home a refuge for my family? Is my home a God-place? Am I clinging too tightly to things? Is my house a place of peace and joy?
5. My Schedule: My Soul Test - What does my schedule say about me? About my view of God? Is it too packed or do I need to add some things to use my time wisely? What is causing me the most stress? What about it is stressful? How much time do I spend online every day? What is the first thing I'd like to remove from my schedule? Why? Am I dwelling in the past or future instead of today?
Jesus told us what our priorities should be ...
"Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’This is the first and great commandment.And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 22:37-40
"But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." Matthew 6:33
"Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:1-2
Blessings abound in us because we are daughters of the King. Whether we are single, married, with or without kids, an empty-nester, a grandmother, or are standing at the end of life on earth, God wants to help us live with His heart. All we need to do is ask Him!
What happens on Mother’s Day at your church? It is typical and fitting to honor the mothers who are present. In some cases moms are asked to stand, given a public blessing and a hearty applause, followed by a prayer of thanksgiving and dedication. Usually a flower or some other small gift is given to each mom. How Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are observed reveal much about the heart of a church.
The Aching Heart
One of the most painful experiences is that of women or men who desire to have children but cannot. They may be married or single, be barren, or have experienced the loss of a child (or multiple children) through miscarriage or death. It’s true that some people don’t desire to have children, but that is the exception. Most believers look forward to having little ones around, and when that can’t happen, it hurts.
The Parent Heart
Some busy parents may look at those without children and think they have it easy. Well-meaning men and women can misunderstand and even sin against those who are childless. They can be guilty of looking at them with jealousy or judgment: With jealousy a parent might think, "They have time and money to do the things they want. They have more time to dedicate themselves to serving God." With judgment someone might think, "Why isn't he married? There must be something wrong with her. Why don’t they have a baby? How strange, how selfish! Exhausted? … They don’t even know the meaning of the word!" If believers are not jealous or judgmental, they can be neglectful. Sad to say, it’s easy to get so busy that we don’t take time to think about the needs of other people.
The Single Heart
One bright Mother’s Day morning, all of the moms were invited to stand in the front of the church. The pastor spoke glowingly of how wonderful they all were and how greatly the future rests upon their shoulders. My single friend Laura felt uncomfortable, since she was about the only woman left back in the pews. After they were dismissed to their seats, Laura breathed a sigh of relief that the ceremony was over for another year. However, the pastor had forgotten to give the women flowers, so he had some men pass them out right away. My friend was left empty-handed as she looked around at all the smiling mothers.
Laura cried all the way home from church, again asking God to help her be content in her singleness. Unfortunately the pastor had also forgotten to hand out special books, so in the evening service the deliverers were sent out again. A deacon started to hand a book to Laura, and just as she reached out to accept the gift, he quickly pulled his hand back and said, "Oops!" At that moment Laura felt as though she wanted to shrivel up and die.
On holidays honoring parents, some people without children feel uncomfortable, lonely, and even as if they are unimportant or sinful because they haven’t produced children. While they rejoice with their friends who are moms and dads, they can be grievously reminded of their sorrow. Does the church remember these dear sisters and brothers in Christ on these occasions and throughout the year? It is possible to bless everyone present in our churches on days of honor. To do this, believers need to cultivate the heart of the Father.
The Father's Heart
In seeking to minister to others, believers can become overwhelmed with the variety of people and their needs. Knowing that someone needs encouragement is one thing - knowing how to do it is entirely another. Believers can increase in wisdom by asking God (James 1:5), and by learning to offer comfort to the fainthearted.
"Now we exhort you, brethren, warn them that are unruly, comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men." I Thessalonians 5:14
Christians may not understand where other people are coming from. Yet with God’s help we can try to put ourselves in their shoes. Believers have no excuse not to do their best to encourage others.
Besides first and foremost praying for them, here are some practical ideas on how church leadership and individuals can minister to people without children:
1. Be friendly. Don’t talk too much about your kids. If someone in the group is going on and on about their children, smile and start talking about something that they are interested in.
2. Give them opportunities to minister to children. A precious couple who lost four babies during pregnancy and have no living children are the world’s most loving and dedicated Sunday School teachers. And what a blessing those children are to them!
3. Include them in family activities. Invite them into your home. Have your children deliver a "just because" card or cookies. Invite them to sit with you in church. Holidays can be the hardest times; if they are not able to be with loved ones, joyfully welcome them to your celebration. You may feel uncomfortable sharing news of your pregnancy with them, but they want to hear it from you. Pray, and God will direct you to the right words and timing.
4. Remember them on Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. Send a note, e-mail, or card reminding them how special they are and to let them know you are praying for them. In church honor the moms and dads present, but also focus on the valuable roles of being godly men and women. If the church is going to give a gift, buy enough to give to every man or woman present. Being a parent doesn’t make folks more precious or better people. Some of the best "moms" and "dads" in our churches don’t have biological children. But, oh, the spiritual children in which they’ve invested their lives!
5. Respect their privacy. In most cases it is rude to ask them when they are going to get married/have kids/adopt. And never ask them why they can’t have children. If they choose to confide in you, make sure you are a trustworthy confidant.
6. Be considerate regarding specific events. Use common sense. For instance, you probably wouldn’t want to ask a childless woman to be in charge of a baby shower. It may even be too painful for childless women to attend the shower. This doesn’t mean that they are not happy for the new mother. It may be that they know they can’t handle it emotionally and don’t want to cause a scene.
7. Respect and appreciate them. That they don’t have kids or are unmarried doesn’t mean that you can’t learn from them. Single people and married people without children have so much to offer. Ask them to be your prayer partners or accountability partners. On the other hand, church leadership should not assume that childless people have a lot of extra time and should not take advantage of them, always expecting them to serve.
8. Relax and listen. Don’t worry that you won’t know what to say to them. Be a sympathetic listener and pray for God’s wisdom to know what He would have you to say.
9. Seek them out. Look for opportunities to serve and fellowship with childless friends. This especially means a lot if it’s a difficult day, like the day their miscarried baby was due or the anniversary of their child's death.
How can we minister to people in circumstances so different from our own? A remarkable reality is that God can use the lessons we learn from going through a trial to help someone going through an entirely different situation! In 2 Corinthians 1:3 and 4 we read , "Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God." (emphasis added). As we learn about God’s comfort, He gives us the ability to comfort others.
After my husband and I lost a child through miscarriage, some of the greatest encouragement came from our single friends and from those who had never lost a child. One friend, who spoke with such wisdom and love, told me that she had asked God to show her what I needed to hear. Another friend prayed and wept with me. What examples these are of godly compassion. Through His Word and Spirit, God can teach us how to minister to anyone.
In this era of support groups believers need to be careful that we do not exclusively mingle with those of their "type." God marvelously designed us as Christ's Body, and He makes it possible and necessary for the "hand" to look after the "foot," and the "elbow" to care for the "eye" (I Corinthians 12). There is a wealth of wisdom and friendship out there among God’s children. And the value of believers' ministering to believers in stages of life different from their own is God’s will for His children (Titus 2). God helps believers to think of others on Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, every day. And may they prayerfully minister, as a church body and as individuals, with the Father's heart.
(c)2009 Regular Baptist Press. Reproduced by permission.
This past week I asked my Facebook friends what type of schooling they have chosen for their children and why. You may be raising your eyebrows and squirming a bit in your chair, thinking I'm a little gutsy to bring up such a controversial subject. Curiosity and genuine interest won out over my fears, and the response was incredible.
With a background in both public and private schools, as a former Christian school teacher, and currently as a homeschooling mom, I appreciate the tough decisions these women have prayed over with their husbands. Their humility and respect for others, with views different than their own, warmed my heart.
Such an excellent discussion needs to be shared. Some of what you read may surprise you. I listed the responses in the order in which I received them, and you will notice some discussion going on. If you don't have time to read them all, please read the last testimonial. It comes from a friend overseas who faces challenges most of us can't even imagine. Also, if you are interested, I've listed some statistics below.
God knows what is best for our families, and He wants to direct and supply. What is best for my family may not be what works for your family, and it is no surprise, considering the endless variables: location, special needs, options available, legalities, resources, finances, learning style, and convictions. And to make our journey of faith even more exciting (and less self-reliant), the type of schooling we are using right now may not be what God has for us next year.
Thank you to all my terrific friends who took precious time to share. Each one of us wants you, the reader, to know that while we try to do what is God's best for our families, we know we are not perfect - but the God Whom we serve is, and He can be trusted. Readers, please feel welcome to add your comments. We hope our experiences will encourage you in your parenting for God's glory!
Joyfully His,
Sara
Summer, Iowa: "Since moving to another town, we are considering the Christian school here instead of the public one they are currently in ... my husband and I both grew up in public schools, but we like the thought of the kids praying in school, learning Biblical truths there where they are not learning where they are at now... I was always a stay at home mom but we didn't feel home schooling was for us."
Rachel, Iowa: "Christian school - organization not my strong suit and my oldest has mild learning disabilities he's in good hands at FaithChristianLearningCenter."
Elizabeth, Michigan: "So far it is Christian school for the 2 oldest and I will home school my youngest boy for preschool. We want them in a Christian environment, being taught Truth. We LOVE their school, it has small class sizes and amazing teachers. I don't feel led to home school the oldest at this point, so for now this is the path... for us. I sent the older 2 to Christian preschools, but for Will (and probably Kate, too) I feel like I can teach him at home and enjoy the years that are so wonderful yet go by so quickly."
Christie, Indiana: "Home school. The Bible commands parents to teach their children. Home schooling also avoids indoctrination by public schools and bad influences from unsaved pupils in Christian schools. We feel our kids don't need to spend all day with ungodly influences (public school) on the chance that those kids might get saved. There are other ways to reach those kids without risking the morals of my children. Also, my husband taught in two Christian schools for 6 years. He saw a lot of unsaved kids who were there because they were kicked out of the public schools. That is not an influence we want around our kids. I am firmly against public schools. I know (for some people) there are exceptions. One verse I go to often is Psalm 1:1. I don't think it is right to send our kids to do something we are told to not do. A lot of public schools have gone really left-wing in the past ten years. Our local one teaches sex ed in 6th grade (it may be 5th, I am not certain). And a lot of public schools have a "day of silence" for the LGBT agenda. I suspect a lot of Christian parents are unaware of what their kids are being taught, which is not right. I know my strong feelings are not shared by all, and I have to try really hard to keep from sounding judgmental. It doesn't always work. :-) I can't say that everyone should home school, but I do feel public school is not the place for impressionable children from a Christian home."
Sara: "Christie, thank you for sharing your convictions with us. My husband attended public school until Bible college, and then went on to state university because God didn't call him into full-time Christian service. His family didn't have a lot of money, but he had a godly mother and dad, as well as a strong church. Tim is one of the most godly men I've ever known. Some of the strongest, most solid Christians I know attended at least some public school. Many of my christian school peers ended up in trouble. Most of my friends who have kids in public and private schools are extremely involved and know what's going on. God can help us all in this adventure of parenting! I believe it's all about faith and parental involvement."
Tanya, Iowa: "In Utah they have a charter school that is based around Christian beliefs. They focus on different things ... I think there are a few different ones in SaltLake. Some focus on science and math some technology the one I was talking about used to be a private school and then became a charter school. I think it still had an optional class like a seminary class. It focused on leadership and being a better person in the community. I think. We would send them there if we were still in Utah. But hopefully there is a good public school because private schools are expensive. I had a good experience in public school and did things that I wouldn't have gotten the opportunity to do being home schooled. I don't think I could teach my kids everything they need to know. But to those parents who can you are amazing!"
Sara: "I know kids from all different forms of education who have excelled and grown up to love and serve God - on the other hand, I've seen just as many carefully monitored home schooled, public and private school children who have gone off the deep end when they leave home. There is no guarantee with whatever your education choice. We parents can do everything we can, but our kids (eventually) still have to make the final decision what they are going to do with their lives. I believe we must prayerfully make our decision for our own families and not judge others if they choose differently."
Jennifer, Minnesota: "Public school. Both my husband and I grew up in private (Christian) schools. I always assumed I would do the same, but God had other plans for our family. Trust me I enrolled them in the public school with great fear and trepidation... I... felt like I might be throwing my kids to the wolves and that was scary! I have seen God work in their lives and quite honestly my oldest two (6th and 4th) are way more grounded in their faith than I ever was at their age. Their courage and boldness for Christ (sometimes in the midst of ridicule) amazes me and makes me very proud of them and is also a little bit of a rebuke to me in my own life."
Sara: "Have you been ridiculed for having your kids in public school, Jennifer? Not that that matters."
Jennifer, Minnesota: "No we haven't been ridiculed for our choice of public education. Honestly though I think all my friends locally have their kids in the public school. My public school mom friends and I recently started a bible study and prayer group. I also have a group here on Facebook to support likeminded public school parents in their children's educational journey... it's called Salt and Light. For those of you who have your kids in the public school you are more than welcome to join... let me know. :-)"
Sarah, Iowa: "We have actually done all 3, at one time or another. Along the way we have discovered that all methods have their pluses and minuses. I would have to say my preferred method is homeschooling. We are on year 9 of that. I love having the ...freedom to choose my kids' education and to be convinced that their hearts are being educated above their minds. I never planned on homeschooling, but am so glad I did! Now, our sp. needs son attends public school. And that has also been a fantastic choice - for him. We got to a point with him that homeschooling just wasn't working anymore. Fortunately, we live in a small school district and the student body has embraced Ben. This is our 2nd year at that school and we have had very, very few negative experiences. I have really come to believe that educational choices must be made for each individual child and must be re-evaluated every single year to see if that is still the best choice for that child."
Sara: "Thanks for sharing, Sarah. So many people have told me to take it one year at a time and prayerfully consider what God wants for each child. No matter what we choose, we must keep in mind, as Christie pointed out, that we are ultimately responsible to teach our children and be sure they are brought up in the knowledge of God."
Mindy, New York: "I have changed my views on this subject over the years. My conclusion is to seek the Lord's will! :) Each family, child, school, and situation is different. We as parents are given the responsibility of educating our children. We have ...to decide if it is best for us to do that or to delegate that responsibility to others. If we delegate it, we are still responsible to make sure that it happens and to watch for the influences in our children's lives. We have done the Christian school for a couple years. We have homeschooled for three years. My husband is a public school teacher. We have considered enrolling them in the public school where he teaches. It is a hard decision and one we pray about a lot. I think keeping an open mind, praying, and not judging others for their choices is key in this area of our lives!"
Debra, Kansas: "I can honestly say that education decisions have been the hardest, most agonizing decisions Jay and I have made as parents. I attended both Christian and public schools growing up, and we have done all three at one time or another. Moving them to public school was a tough decision, but we were in earnest prayer over it, and seeking wise council. My brother in law, who is a godly man, as well as an educator gave us his thoughts, after we sought his advice. (He put HIMSELF through Christian school in high school...) He said, 'A lot of Christian parents like to complain about the public school environment, but then they pull their kids from the school, as well as their own involvement as parents. The more we do that, the further away the school gets from godly influence. It is a matter of discernment and of prayer.' That really struck a chord with Jay and I, so when we put our kids in public school, we also put ourselves there. We are heavily involved as volunteers. I have always been room mom for all my kids' classes, as well as helping out in the classroom several days a week. I currently go in to my youngest's class on Thurs & Fri to help with reading groups. Then I follow him to lunch, where I can sit and listen to what is going on around him. This type of interaction puts my kids' teachers as ease with me, and opens up a level of communication that is hard to achieve otherwise. I do not think poorly of parents who chose to homeschool, or put their children in private school. This decision should be made with much thought and prayer. It should also be made with each child's individuality in mind. (This was a reminder given by a missionary cousin, who reminded me that my two cousins were in different schools at the same time. One child in Christian, one in public.) It is very easy to condemn other parents who made a different choice than your family, without understanding the effort that has gone into the decision. As the Body, we should work hard to encourage fellow believers to be in the Word, and discern the working of the Spirit, instead of making decisions for one another. Sorry for the book. Just my thoughts...."
Sara: "Thank you, Debra! We have one in kindergarten and one in preschool. This year we partnered with a local Home School Assistance Program and have loved it. Our oldest attends some classes at the "home school" and we have a library and field trips that have been wonderful. I went to public school through grade 5, then I moved to a Christian school. My senior year I wanted to go to public school, to strengthen my faith, but my parents convinced me to stay. It's impossible to know what would've happened, had I transferred to public high school, but this I know ... in Bible college I greatly struggled with assurance of my salvation (typical of those from my background). I finally had assurance of my salvation, and God called me to teach in a Christian school for 3 years. I loved it, and I still love my students, keeping in touch with many of them. Both of my sisters home schooled (they are 10 and 15 years older than I) with mixed results. One of them did a fabulous job and I admire her greatly - but I don't know if this is what God will have for our family all the way through. I have confidence that God will lead us in the right direction. And I can trust Him for the future of my children. If it were left up to me, we'd all be in trouble. But, with God, I know all things are possible."
Carol, Colorado: "We have done all three of the choices Sara mentioned except our public school is a charter school. We have a unique charter school that is mostly Christian teachers. Our kids have great Christian friends and some friends who aren't Christians who get to see what it means to be Christian. Our kids get an opportunity to show Christ to these kids and invite them to church and witness to them. We want our kids to be able to know how to be authentic Christians. I agree about evaluating our kids and allowing God to direct where our kids should be schooled. It gets even more interesting when they choose college, but that is maybe another topic."
Jackie, Colorado: "My 4th grader daughter and 2nd grade son are in our public school right now. We love our school and really love our teachers. Sure, there have been issues with other students, but my kids are learning how to deal with it and it brings out... many great discussions. They are there because my husband and I think that is where they will receive the best overall education at this point in their lives. I think that my daughter has grown and has learned some very important lessons in life, that she might not have experienced otherwise. My daughter's teacher is excellent and I could never accomplish what she has done with Skyler. Some of her best friends are at school, and are also Christians. My kids aren't in the system to convert anyone. They are there because that's what we have chosen for our family. We love the opportunities that are provided/thrown at us. I also enjoy helping at school and meeting children/parents who live in our area. We also teach our children plenty at home, through our church (that they love!), in AWANA groups and whatever else we can think of. I attended public schools, liberal Christian schools, a very strict Christian school and then Bible college. There are all kinds in all of them. I have also known a wide variety of homeschoolers, including my own sister. Quite the array of pupils and quite the array of results. We have no money for a Christian school, I have never had any desire or prompting to homeschool, there are the pros and cons of charter schools in our area, and we love our public school. At this moment in time, this is what works best for us."
Kay, Alabama: "We have used both Christian and Public Schools to assist us in our responsibility to educated our children. God had different paths for us at different times in our lives. Also, different paths for different children. One year we had 2 in ...Christian and 1 in Public. To echo much of what has been said above, it is OUR responsibility to educate our children and external schools are just tools to help us. It is important to know the needs of our children and what best suits them. My eldest was a bold witness in the public school. The other 2 had a harder time with peer pressure (not that they were bad kids, it was just a harder path). If you are blessed to have the reinforcement of a good Christian school, please don't take that for granted. If you use the Public School system, I believe it is very important to stay actively involved. The educational need of our children is something that constantly needs to be evaulated. MUCH prayer. And then, when you're done, you'll still probably see where you could have done something differently.”
Dawn, Illinois: "Public: - I want my children to 'learn to swim with the sharks while I am still teaching them to swim.' I want them to learn to stand up for God, to have a Biblical worldview in an ever darkening world, to learn that they WILL be different ...and have different standards, and to be salt and light. I cannot tell you how many incredible conversations we have had about "the world's view" on a variety of subjects vs. God's view. We go to God's Word and see why we stand for the values we uphold. Do I like all the junk they are confronted with? No. But then again, I don't like the junk I have to face on a daily basis. I am glad they are still under my influence so I can expose Satan's lies and guide them into truth. I would not mind sending them to Christian school simply because I like the traditional academics and because it might be easier to find Christian friends. But - there is no way we can afford the private schools in our area (It would require me working fulltime and then some.) I have never felt the Lord calling me to home-school. And I stand in complete awe of mom's who homeschool. It takes incredible self-discipline and I don't know how they balance it all."
Sara: "Thank you for all the fabulous input! Keep the comments coming!"
Kristen, Iowa: "Homeschool-for many reasons. We never set out from the beginning to homeschool, but I just couldn't let my kids go. Now we wouldn't trade it for anything. My husband is self-employed which makes homeschooling so much easier. When he has... a day off, we take the day off and do field trips. I love having my kids with me all day every day. Next year, my oldest will be a senior. He will be taking 3 classes at public school and 3 online college classes from the community college plus some stuff at home. My #3 child runs track and plays basketball for the middle school. My only regret is not having more children (only 4) so I could keep homeschooling. I only have 6 years left of this amazing time in my life."
Margy, Iowa: "I attended public schools and my husband attended Christian schools. Before we had children I taught at both Christian school and public schools. We currently have one son in public high school and 2 that are being homeschooled. I have found the education of our children to be one or the biggest blessings and most agonizing decisions we as parents face. We began homeschooling 12 years ago. I have loved it most days and we have had some very memorable and amazing times together; I think our family is very close in part because of it. However, there are those days when nothing seems to go according to plan and you realize that you aren't perfect or you worry that you aren't teaching them everything that they need. I think that is normal and thus we always go year by year and reevaluate. We ask, how is it working for each of us and what if anything can we change, drop, add or improve.? 3 years ago, we realized the answer for our oldest son was---this isn't working. I was crushed because I thought I had "failed" as a homeschool mom and I had planned to go all the way through high school, but I am so glad we changed our plan because it has been a good thing for him and us. Now we are at another crossroads, our middle child, having heard his older brother talk about jr. high, is curious about it. We don't think, knowing him and his personality, that going to Jr. High full time is a great idea, so we are going to allow him to take 3 or 4 classes next year. Will they all end up in public school for high school? Maybe, maybe not. I will continue to prayfully consider what works for each of my boys, trust my instinct as a parent and educator and listen to the hearts of my children. I am so thankful for the options we all have. It is a great responsibility and privilege that we have the freedom to choose how our children are educated. I am deeply respectful that the choices I make may not be the choices that work for others, I hope others will be as well. God bless each of you in your journey!"
Sara: "If we decide to homeschool all the way through, we plan also to dual-enroll at some point. We believe it is extremely important and biblical to teach our children how to live in this world, while still in our home, so they are able to receive our help and guidance as they prepare for "real" life."
Renee, Iowa: "I went to Christian school for kindergarten & public school for the rest of my schooling. I didn't notice a lot of negative influences when I was in school but I was a very shy child with few friends & I'm sure schools have changed a lot in the last decade. That said my siblings & I also had the godly influences of AWANA & Sunday school. My parents did a good job of teaching us that not everything they teach you at school is the truth (i.e.-evolution). If I am ever blessed to have children of my own, I hope to be able to put them in Christian school."
Sara: "Thank you for sharing, Renee! It's great to hear your viewpoint as a single woman. Truth be told, we begin home schooling the day our child is born!"
Lynda, Michigan: "We have our two oldest in a charter school. The reason started when we had to make a decision on where to put our oldest. We heard that the public school in our district was a great one. We did consider it, but the biggest thing was my job. I homeschooled her for Kindergarten, but was able to get her into the Charter school for first grade. The charter school we have them in is 10 minutes from my work, so if I am working I can take them to school and pick them up without it interferring with my job. We did not consider private, too much, due to the cost and we wanted our girls to "face the world". We felt that the charter school is a middle, with the worldly influnces but a rich moral influnces that can help our children be better women. I am in the schools each week to see who my girls are interacting with, see the teacher at maybe not such a great moment and how she handles it and to interact with the school staff. We do not feel that it is the schools responsiblity to totally teach our girls. They are getting the achedemics from the teachers at Achieve, something we feel we can not do at this time. We are still teaching them how to interact with their classmates, solve problems with their peers, be an example of Christ and to respect those that Christ puts in authority over them. Like others have mentioned it is not a decision we take lightly with our girls. We take each year and see if it still the best for them . I do want to mention that I am involved in Moms in Touch, a group that mets and prays for their children and the school."
Anonymous, Foreign Mission Field: " I just wanted to tell you that I love homeschooling and so do my kids. My older two take two classes and one class from a mk (missionary kid) school right by our house and love this also. I love our decision to do what we have done. We are a very close family and we all have loved doing school like this....but I have also always had the kids in other activities - church and sports and music. Their lives are crazy busy. I love that my three teenagers still love hugging me and they are cool kids...____ is 6foot 1inch and very strong and very cool amongst all his friends, but yet loves kissing my cheek goodbye each day at the door of his school. The states also offers so much where kids can be home schooled but then also take classes thru other sources....the best of both worlds. All just a thought. I hated going to a public school and was very popular but the kids looked for a way to make me fall into sin because they knew that i was saved. we have friends from ______ that took their kids out of (a Christian school) and we were so sad our last term to see how the oldest girl was wearing extremely short short and different things like that ....like my daughter said...she was just so very different and had changed so very much. any way... I don't normally write long but i just wanted to share my opinion. Every family is different and different things are best for different families and at different times. We have always taken our homeschooling decision at a year by year basis....always open to if it wasn't working than we would change. We love it. I know for (my friend - a Christian school teacher) that the best was putting the kids back in christian school after knowing that homeschooling was not turning out the right way. I just want you to know the side of someone that was in public school all my life....I craved christian friends and never had one thru my whole life until I became an adult....it was hard!!! Any way ....I wrote this very fast because of time....I will pray that God will lead you and he has a perfect plan for your family also. Each mom and each kid is different....if christian school is for you than God will provide also....and if it is public school than he will give christian friends and christian teachers."
Anonymous, Foreign Mission Field, cont'd: "One of my friends is a school teacher but homeschooling wasn't the best fit for her. This taught me a lot. It fits us...I love to stay at home...others hate that....so being tied to my kids and home aren't a bad thing for me. I love the time I get with each one ... I love to see them interact and I love to see them helping each other. The other day I caught _____ reading her book to _____ .... I just can't tell you the benefits that I see....we have a mk school here right by us and I wouldn't send my kids there full time because I believe that the kids are not being taught by their parents well enough in the area of thinking of others and reaching out to the lonely. As a family we talk thru every situation ....my kids are far from perfect but homeschooling allows me time to talk thru the character issues that come up each day.. but again I go back to each family needs to do what works best. For them...you just need to search out what is best for you....God will show you."
Anonymous, Nebraska: "My kids go to christian school. We just felt it was the right thing for them. Public school isn't an option for us at all. Sending our kids to Christian school as opposed to homeschooling them was what they needed. I had a bad experience when my mom tried to homeschool me. That was one factor. Also my oldest daughter needs to be challenged in more ways than I can offer her. My son really needs the structure of a school setting as well. They really need the social aspect of it too. We are basically the only family at our church and this helps them to have a chance to develop their social skills. I admire those who can homeschool their children. We don't really have the space to do that either at this time. I do have my concerns about sending our soon to be kindergartner to their school this next year, because of some issues with the teacher, but I don't know what else to do. That is one of my dilemas that I am praying about."
Anonymous, Iowa: "I enjoyed reading the responses to your homeschool/private/public school question! Interesting! I have enjoyed homeschooling this past year and we are planning to do it again this fall but I plan to take one year at a time. I have people ask me, 'so are you going to homeschool through high school?' I have no idea. I'm just working through kindergarten and 1st grade! I realize each child is different but It always surprises me when moms say they couldn't teach their kids or couldn't teach them what they need to know. Teaching - especially reading and spelling - has been FUN! I'm not really a "teacher" but enjoy "teaching like a mom." Thankfully my daughter has others in her life who are able to demonstrate those "real" trained teacher qualities!"
Anonymous, Foreign Mission Field, con'd.: "Another thing I thought about today was the benefit of spending so much time each morning with my kids memorizing scripture. It is apart of their schooling, and I doubt if they were in traditional schools if i would have ever been able to train them in this way. I love the time that we spend reciting chapters of the bible and when the three oldest were little it was really a ton of fun. also family devos when they were little were just wonderful. our morning time was so much Bible stories and Bible memorization. It was a lot of fun. I still spend about 30 minutes with each kid memorizing God's word each morning. two of the kids do it together since they are a year apart. _____ has to do it at a separate time as he practices soccer all morning long. then I do _____ and _____ separately due to learning styles but soon I will be able to do them together. Also the time homeschooling allows them to excel in other activities is super great. _____ practices her piano 50 minutes a day and does really well. _____ is up to 45 minutes and _____ plays on a soccer club training him to be a pro...he practices all morning long and then starts school at . Not all is rosy as I have one that is always bored and always wanting more - it is ______ my fourth and she is super energetic. She swims four days a week on a swim team but she is super go go go. This is a little difficult. I was thinking today how every kid is different not just every family. ______ is my one that begs to go to traditional school and maybe one day we will decide that but for now I still feel that she is good at home."
Anonymous, Foreign Mission Field, cont'd.: "I was also thinking today as I wrote you ...of a missionary friend of mine. Her husband is always wanting her to homeschool their five kids. It would not work for her...and she knows that ...she is a type of person that really needs her away time and her own time. She is an amazing mom and always finding fun things for her kids to do but to be with them all day would drive her insane. But she is an awesome mom and so much more creative for her kids than I ever have been for mine. I also have a friend that is a missionary here in ____ and she home schools...but it is not a good situation because she has no patience at all with her kids and really is not a good example. We have plenty of faults.... I have two that struggle to get a long but it is a teaching situation and they get better and then fall again and then get better and then fall....but I know that God will have the victory."
Anonymous, Overseas: "I had wanted to comment on your thread about schooling, but put it off because I was worried about eyes around the world seeing. I have too many unsaved friends who read and keep an eye on everything we do.... And I don't want them to think we are a cult because we don't like their educational system. Anyway, a thing to consider is that some parents, not many, but some have no choice on their child's education. I homeschooled my children for the first year of their education and would have gladly continued until I was unqualified for the higher grades. Then I would have considered a good Christian school if money allowed or some charter school or internet variant. But God decided where He wanted our family and placed us in a country where the government controls everything. Homeschooling is not an option and there are no good schools as you would compare with better choices in the states and so we bathe our children and their days in prayer as we send them into the battle of the world daily. But I am persuaded that following God to this mission field and fighting with and for my kids on this level is not a mistake or worst case scenario. God who makes no mistakes asked it of us so it must be the perfect best at this time for my children. You are welcome to use or post any of these thoughts on your thread, etc. But you would have to not use names or countries in order to protect our ministry here. Thanks.
Side note. I love reading your articles and your encouragment, but I will have to admit that sometimes I must just take a break from reading about American Christianity because to those of us around the world it seems like a perfect fairytale. I haven't had a single Christian friend in 6 1/2 years, my children do not know other christian children who stand for the right, our church is our family outside of our Bible studies, we have forgotten what it is to sing corporately and so in order to stay content with where God has placed me and asked of me it is sometimes better not to remember what I am missing. So that is why I sometimes do not comment or write often. Not because I do not care."
Statistics
School Preferences (if they mentioned two or three, I included all):
·Charter - 2
·Christian - 9
·Home - 10
·Public - 11
Where I met these amazing women:
·7 - FaithBaptistBibleCollege - Ankeny, IA
·7 - NorthlandBaptistBibleCollege - Dunbar, WI
·4 - Through my church
·4 - Various other contacts
Location and Status:
·10 states
·2 foreign countries
·1 single woman
·Mostly married women with young children and teenagers
·All the way up to a super special empty nester
"If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him."James 1:5
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