Minnesota Military Family Interview

We are a country at war.  How often do we remember?  In the beginning it is easy to think of family, neighbors, church members, and friends who are in military training or active duty.  We pray, mail packages, and deliver meals.  But, after awhile, unless he or she is a close family member or friend, we tend to forget.  And, unless we have been in this position ourselves, it is impossible to completely understand and difficult to know how to help.



This week it was my privilege to interview a dear college friend about her husband's role in defending our country.  May this family's testimony enlarge our understanding and help us as we seek to encourage these brave men and women.

1. Thank you so much for serving our country!  What is your history with the military?

My husband joined the Minnesota National Guard two years ago. He went to basic training for 3 months and to Officer Candidate School for 4 months. He will be gone again in 2012 for 4 months to complete officer training. He also currently has a full-time job with the National Guard 2½ hours from home, so he is gone a lot. We have four children, ages 7, 5, 4, and 1 and are expecting #5 in Dec/Jan.



2. What are the challenges you have faced while being involved in military service? 

There’s the struggle of rejoining after a separation. The husband feels out of the loop and the wife is used to handling things on her own. It’s hard to readjust. 



I’ve struggled with trying to handle things on my own when my husband is gone, instead of asking for help. I’ve had to learn to humble myself and get help from church friends, so I can have a break from the kids, do shopping, have fellowship with friends, etc. Otherwise, I have felt so alone and like I can’t handle things by myself all the time.



My husband faces temptations he would probably never face otherwise. There are so many unsaved and immoral people in the military who have little to no character.



3. How do you cope with the stress?

I am learning to rely on God and trust Him more. Things change so often in the military, you have to learn to be flexible and trust God to direct your lives.  I cope with God’s help and definitely involving other people in our lives. It may be having people over, having babysitters, getting together with family, having someone help with cleaning my house, etc. If I have a need, I’ve learned to ask for help and discovered that it’s not only blessing me, but what a blessing it can be to someone else that they were able to help me. When I can afford it, I have paid a babysitter once a week while I do all my errands and shopping.



4. What are the blessings of being involved in military service?

It’s nice to see people appreciate my husband and thank him for his service. It opens up a new realm of people you would have never met otherwise. Financially, it has been a blessing to us.



5. What have people said or done that encouraged you?

People asking how I’m doing and offering to help. One lady offered to come and read to my boys in the evening. Other people have offered to babysit. A lot of church people came to see my husband off for basic training. People sending letters or packages to my husband when he was gone. Pastor letting the church know when my husband is leaving and keeping them updated.



6. Hopefully this hasn’t been an issue, but have there been things people have said or done, with good intentions, that have discouraged you? 

I asked my church for help when my husband was going to be gone for 4 months. I asked for a sign-up sheet and once a week someone to watch my kids for 3 hours or help clean my house. They were willing, but it would have been nice if someone had approached me first and asked how the church could help. And then when they made the sign-up sheet they put, “Tracie has asked that we . . .” I wish they would have said, “Our church would like to help Tracie in this way, while her husband is gone for military service.” I don’t know if that’s my pride, but it made me feel like I was imposing on people.



7. What words of encouragement would you give a fellow military wife/family?  

“All the paths of the Lord are loving and faithful.” - Psalm 25:10

Don’t be too proud to ask for help. There are people out there who want to help you, and you deny them a blessing by saying no or by not asking. 

Special thanks to the Delich Family, Brooklyn Center, MN